Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Tiempos Draconicos XIL: Fun things to Do Without Power

So lately there has been in my zone this trend to cut the electricity all evening (since 6:30 to 10:00 more less) thing that is extremely annoying given that, if someone has work to do in the computer they can't thanks to the electricity devices. Yesterday I was all alone at home (because i got earlier than every one else) and so, I was bored out of my mind, my cell didn't have any battery nor did my iPod, Imagine the fun of being in the dark with nothing to do but just stare at the darkness and the lonely candle I could find.

So I made: 10 FUN THINGS TO DO IN THE DARK!

1 - Sleep (what better than to sleep ion the dark, .. what? you are afraid of the dark? oh... then turn on a candle!)

2 - Cook! (okay well if you have an electrical kitchen you can go watch the flies flies by, or eat frozen wieners, use the candle to heat them! watch it for burns!)

3 - Pick your nose (watch it from brain pokes!)

4 - Find a candle and read Your comics or something (or the label of the things in the kitchen you can't cook because you don't have a gas kitchen XD)

5 - masturbate (easy solution, difficult ending....)

6 - Take a bath.... With cold water yes, what else is there to do? just remember If you drop the soap and you kinda bend to grab it and you feel some Unnatural thing rape your ass... well, though shit.

7 - Speak on the phon... what? You phone is Wireless and the base needs power? hahahahaha

8 - remember what you were looking for last night and didnt find and take the downtime to search for it (with a candle of course.. just dont burn anything)

9 - Search for porn in your laptop. Internet? thats YOUR problem...

10 - I deviced a game its called find it find it.

You stand in your living room and blow the candle then you launch five coins to the air and pinpoint them by mere sound, And go find them in the dark. just watch it, If you slide on one and break your neck the conversation in your funeral would be like:

"so what he died of?"
"He broke his neck from a coin"
".....A... coin...You mean a penny?"
"yeah A penny. he fell from one penny and broke his neck"
".shit.. that was one hell of a penny then"
"Actually her wife has it in his forehead, shes kinda stupid"
and after that, everytime your wife or husband sees a penny They will cry their heart out

"AHHH!!!! BUAA!! THAT WAS!!... THE PENNY!! BUAAA!!!"

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Tiempos Draconicos XL: Vrands

have you ever seen how the pirates  do to stuff fake things as real things and people is stupid enough to buy them for 75% of the price and -1500% the quality, because let me tell you, those things are HORRIBLE and have the lowest quality standards of the Chinese Republic Manufacturing Laws.

Examples of this are the following brands:

Mike (Nike of course)

Coby (as sony of course)

Aciida ( When you see the logo it FAKES itself into looking like adidas)

Funstation, PonyStation, grayStation, DinStation, PainStation (No shit), Yaystation (Playstation knock off with a 8-bit nintenfo knockoff. FOR THE WIN)

Ybox 540 (Yes this actually exist I failed to take a picture because There was the dependant right in front of me)

Cans (shoes. vans anyway?)

Sidewalk (yes Even airwalk)

lewis (as Levi's Knockoff)

Nilson (Wilson the tennis brand)

Mp4 Ipod Knockoffs (instead of the click wheel, four buttons)

It's just incredible and the people LIKE IT and they think is even better than the real deal (Because they are cheaper) I would laugh a lot.

I remember the ipod knockoffs have this CLUNKY interface where nothing works and they use something like the windows 3.1 file manager (to those who remember it) and the best:

They Say 4 Gbs And only have 1.5 Gbs of actual space and some even turn black and white (the screen"colorful" at first) after two months Hilarious.

Anyways enough rant for today!

</rant>

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Tiempos Draconicos XXXIX: Dressing Code

Welcome to today's Draco's rant about some stupid stuff most people will find offensive!

Have you noticed how people dress lately? it's just plain AWFUL! let's begin with the most common denominator of the lowest level of intelligence in the world. Pants with letters in the ass.

I mean WHAT.. it's just plain horrible, this morning I was walking to the bus stop/station (we don't have stations as you do there in the US or Canada or Australia) and this woman with this pants with the following in the ass goes:

"SEXY(in one cheek) BABE (In the other)" I just couldnt help Laugh my ass laugh, there is another that goes "Disco(in one cheek) QUEEN (in the other)"

And there are women with the "Free Access" (I kid you not My cell just couldnt take the fucking picutre right enough!) I mean come on!

There is also these kind of women that love to put shirts that look like the hotline page of the newspaper:

"My bf is out and I want dick" (I saw this one in the market I could laugh....)

"I'm alone and wanting" (BIATCH!!!)

"Innocent Devil" and the sex symbol of a Q being penetrated by an arrow

"Take me to your house" (And fuckkkk meeeee)

"I like bad boys" (Hoe...)

"Pussy Giving" And it pictures a cat with a lace on the neck. it is even funny!

Then the coup de grace was this guy:

Black hair standing like a klingon with gel. the tips of his hair, his chin, eyebrows and mustache decolored by peroxide. he had this TIGHT jeans and Boats as feet (like 15 or something) And to top it all

Earrings with the symbol of the Nike Air 23 Jordan basketball Earrings. (Ya know the guy jumping in the air)

How much worse can you get in your lifetime. He looked like an Albino Gremlin with no intelligence whatsoever.

There are other kind of clothing that suck balls, Like those who wanna dress gangsta and fail incredibly at it. they put on clothes 10 sizes bigger and walk as if their back was unbendable and their legs would crush the little 1/2 inch dick they have. they look so pathethic!

 

</rant>

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Tiempos Draconicos XXXVIII: People Stare...

Have you notice how the human mind curiosity is the most funny thing in the world. We could understand a cat being easily distracted by whatever or a dog easily amused, their brains are small and have attention spans, BY DESIGN very short (unless you train the animal of course)

But we humans have minds of our own and then again we suck more than any other animal in the world given we are so immature and so damn unbalanced and unstable.

Take for example elevators. When you push the button for an elevator what do you do? Stare at the thing that says in what floor the elevator is. And everyone stares fixedly at it, it's even funny, when the door opens everybody goes in, pushes their right buttons, and then what do they do???? Stare to the needle or little screen with the floor number. And they stare at it as if, by staring it will move faster or skip some floors already pressed.

Same happens when Someone crashes their car, why do you think the jam is provoked? Curious people staring at the crash as they go by, And no matter how much the police urge you to move on and press forward people stare like stupid sheep at the crash. Same with almost everything.

Men, Human Males I mean. Are the worse specimens in the world, i don't remember such race of animals who's more bend over into destroying than men. but that's just one of their feats, there is one another. Women.

Have you seen this men in the street, when a hawt woman passes by they turn around sharply as if their neck was gonna snap? it's hilarious! I think it's the funniest thing ever watching those sadistic guys bending over to look at the ass of someone.

It happened more than once than a nice girl passed in front of someone who was in front of me, and hear this, the guy turned sharply and he ran into a bus stop falling over his ass, it was JUST HILARIOUS.

The other day it happened even worse, a girl, I must admit was the hawtness, passed by and a guy turned over sharply and ran into sewer stuck his feet and fell down in a puddle of murky trash water. Gross out and all he has the balls to yell "it was worth it!"

People stare, when someone has a scar they just stare, why do people stare at other. I have had many people more than once stare at me and I just cant hold up and laugh my ass off.

The same with sex, why people like to stare at other having sex, is a morbid thing we humans have, like for example, when two dogs are having a go at it, EVERYBODY stops and stares, and some people even get hard and hot about it.

When someone with piercings even in the ass walks by people stare. I remember once this guy was sitting in a bench all tattooed and a girl stared at him blankly with her mouth open wide in awe. the guy stood still and suddenly yelled... "BOO!!!" and the girl went pale and almost fainted screaming and yelling "MOMMMMYYYY!!!!!" i liked it a lot . and laughed with the guy

also when a thunder sounds, people go and stare at the sky. it's hilarious XD

When someone goes "PST PST" every single person in the room turns around, when a cell phone sounds, no matter it is not your Ringtone... You go and pick up the phone (that's why my is silent and in vibracall)

Anyways, i will go away now and stop bothering you people.